Monday, April 15, 2013

~the "L" word~

 
That's right friends, I'm talking about the "L" word today.
 
That scary "trap" our society has led you to believe avoiding is the best way to live in order to stay clear of risking a broken heart.

The word you either avoid saying to another person or you jump into saying without truly knowing the depth of what you are speaking.
 
The same word that you said to your elementary boyfriend or girlfriend after checking yes in a pencil drawn box on lined school paper....
 
The same word you use when you're talking about that delicious cookie recipe you cannot get enough of....
Or the pair of shoes that you cannot leave the store without...
 
Or the one pair of jeans that fit just perfectly...

Or the TV show that you absolutely cannot miss
and will go as far as to schedule your day around it...
 
Or the..
 
I think you get the point.
 
 
In my opinion, it is a word that means so much, but is said too little in the appropriate context. It's a word that too often gets falsely tossed around in our actions, but is spoken not nearly enough in its true meaning.
 
 I LOVE the words Italians use to express true love...
 
 "ti voglio bene"
 
aka... "I want YOUR good"
 
True love is wanting what is good for the other person.
It is wanting what God has in plan for the one you love. 
 Genuine love is you willing to give up your own desires to ensure the absolute best for the other.
 
I'll be the first to admit, I'm guilty. I use the word "love' to describe just about every other thing I encounter...from chocolate ice-cream to watching FRIENDS reruns. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. However, I do think it is important to have a clearer understanding of using the word for the things it more appropriately describes,
 
like....ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
 
I think the first time I said "I love you" to someone other than family was when I was in 7th grade to a boy who had asked me to be his girlfriend over the phone after meeting me the day before.
 
HA! That was cute. I felt so mature. Of course, I didn't mean it. I didn't love him.
 I didn't even really like him that much.
 
Since then, I have used those words many, many more times. Sometimes with sincerity, but I think mostly out of lack of knowing what true love really was. I dated a guy for 2 and a half years, said those words countless times, but never truly wanted the good for him. It was a selfish relationship. I had no idea at the time. I thought I meant what I said every time, but looking back now I realize that I merely loved the idea of us so I selfishly held on to the façade we created.
 
We were falsely throwing around "I love yous"  in our physical actions and our words, but not backing them up deep within our hearts. We were lying to each other, unfortunately creating mess of hurt and regret later down the road.
 
Oh, how I wish I knew better than to think I knew it all.
 
I thought my heart was telling me to give all that I had to him, but really, it as telling me to give all that I had to HIM!
Every human heart is created to love, but that love will be dispersed wrongly if it is not given 100% first and foremost to the one who loves us first and foremost.
 
psalm 37:4
 
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 
 My heart was desiring Him all along.
 I just refused to listen to it and
 interpret my desires on my own.


Two years later, I've found myself once again using those words in another relationship.



And let me tell you how wonderful it is to know that I mean them when I say them!


We both truly want whatever is the absolute best for the other person, even if that means letting go of them someday. If  there is something/someone else who is a better ticket to heaven for him than me then by golly, you better believe that I'd be kicking his booty out the door, although it would quite possibly be the hardest thing I'd have to do.
 

And doing so would just further prove the sincerity behind our love, because it's not supposed to be easy.

It's not a feeling.
It's a choice.
 

And sometimes a really difficult one to make.
 
 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
 
 
 
4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
 
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride);
 it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. 
Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,
 for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
 
6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness,
but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
 
7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
 is ever ready to believe the best of every person,
 its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
 
8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
 As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge,
 it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].