~the "L" word~

 

That's right friends, I'm talking about the "L" word today.

 

That scary "trap" our society has led you to believe avoiding is the best way to live in order to stay clear of risking a broken heart.

The word you either avoid saying to another person or you jump into saying without truly knowing the depth of what you are speaking.

 

The same word that you said to your elementary boyfriend or girlfriend after checking yes in a pencil drawn box on lined school paper....

 

The same word you use when you're talking about that delicious cookie recipe you cannot get enough of....

Or the pair of shoes that you cannot leave the store without...

 

Or the one pair of jeans that fit just perfectly...

Or the TV show that you absolutely cannot miss
and will go as far as to schedule your day around it...

 

Or the..

 

I think you get the point.

 

 

In my opinion, it is a word that means so much, but is said too little in the appropriate context. It's a word that too often gets falsely tossed around in our actions, but is spoken not nearly enough in its true meaning.

 

 I LOVE the words Italians use to express true love...

 

 "ti voglio bene"

 

aka... "I want YOUR good"

 

True love is wanting what is good for the other person.

It is wanting what God has in plan for the one you love. 

 Genuine love is you willing to give up your own desires to ensure the absolute best for the other.

 

I'll be the first to admit, I'm guilty. I use the word "love' to describe just about every other thing I encounter...from chocolate ice-cream to watching FRIENDS reruns. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. However, I do think it is important to have a clearer understanding of using the word for the things it more appropriately describes,

 

like....ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

 

I think the first time I said "I love you" to someone other than family was when I was in 7th grade to a boy who had asked me to be his girlfriend over the phone after meeting me the day before.

 

HA! That was cute. I felt so mature. Of course, I didn't mean it. I didn't love him.

 I didn't even really like him that much.

 

Since then, I have used those words many, many more times. Sometimes with sincerity, but I think mostly out of lack of knowing what true love really was. I dated a guy for 2 and a half years, said those words countless times, but never truly wanted the good for him. It was a selfish relationship. I had no idea at the time. I thought I meant what I said every time, but looking back now I realize that I merely loved the idea of us so I selfishly held on to the façade we created.

 

We were falsely throwing around "I love yous"  in our physical actions and our words, but not backing them up deep within our hearts. We were lying to each other, unfortunately creating mess of hurt and regret later down the road.

 

Oh, how I wish I knew better than to think I knew it all.

 

I thought my heart was telling me to give all that I had to him, but really, it as telling me to give all that I had to HIM!

Every human heart is created to love, but that love will be dispersed wrongly if it is not given 100% first and foremost to the one who loves us first and foremost.

 

psalm 37:4

 

Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

 My heart was desiring Him all along.
 I just refused to listen to it and
 interpret my desires on my own.


Two years later, I've found myself once again using those words in another relationship.

And let me tell you how wonderful it is to know that I mean them when I say them!


We both truly want whatever is the absolute best for the other person, even if that means letting go of them someday. If  there is something/someone else who is a better ticket to heaven for him than me then by golly, you better believe that I'd be kicking his booty out the door, although it would quite possibly be the hardest thing I'd have to do.

 

And doing so would just further prove the sincerity behind our love, because it's not supposed to be easy.

It's not a feeling.
It's a choice.

 

And sometimes a really difficult one to make.
 

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

 

 

4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

 

5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride);

 it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. 

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,

 for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

 

6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness,

but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

 

7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,

 is ever ready to believe the best of every person,

 its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

 

8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

 As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge,

 it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

~jesus people~

Far too often, I miss the opportunity to be Jesus to others. I'm so caught up in what I'm doing most of the time that my "Jesus moment" flies right by without me even noticing.

 

A couple nights ago, I was reminded that I should spend more time paying attention to others' needs and less to my own. 

 

Yesterday I took an exam that I had spent the whole night before studying for. Memorizing every muscle in the body (including its origin, insertion, and action) is a rather tearful process, especially when you procrastinate preparing for it until the night before.

 

(I put the word "pro" in "procrastinate")

 

I could not, for the life of me, keep my concentration for anything longer than a split second where I live (with a 2 year old and 7 year old) so before I knew it, I was en route to Starbucks...my go-to "get a lot of last minute studying done" sanctuary.

 

a couple blocks down the road and I found myself at a stop light....

 

*Holy Spirit chimes in*

 

Instead of turning right to go to my so called "sanctuary", I made the last-second decision to go left...to the REAL sanctuary.

 

I live just a few blocks away from a perpetual adoration chapel, which I LOVE! But do not take advantage of nearly as much as I should!

 

I had heard in the past about how Pope John Paul II used to do his studies in front of the Blessed Sacrament, so that is where my studies would take place that night as well.

 

I got there around 7:30 pm.....

 

8:30 rolls by......

 

9:00...

 

9:30.......I'm losing my mind.

 I can't handle looking at a picture of bare muscles anymore!

 

Somewhere in that time a friend of mine whom I do not know that well, and honestly I could not think of her name at that moment (I had to facebook her to figure it out!), stopped in for a quick visit with Jesus and noticed that I was studying. She asked what I was studying for and what time my test was so that she could pray for me during that time.

 

After quickly answering her questions we both went back to what we were doing. I didn't even notice her leave a few minutes later until she came back with an iced mocha and a chocolate chip cookie......FOR ME!

 

She said "I thought you could use this", as she handed me what I could only describe as heaven in a cup.

 

She saw her opportunity and seized it, two things that I must strive to do more often!

 

 

 

 



~world's best dad & origami lilies~

Many aspects of the Church have a tendency to boil down to the word "mystery".

 

 For example, how is it that a man, whom we don't know much about

 other than the few things we are told in the bible, be so popular?!
How can a man who has absolutely no words recorded in writing teach us so much?

 

I don't really have a great answer to this other than the fact that he played a

pretty crucial role in the life of Christ.

 

 Regardless, I'm glad he is...merely because the little that we do know about him is pretty darn epic.

 

Tomorrow is the feast day of St. Joseph.

 

Mary's most chaste spouse; protector of her purity.

The man chosen by God to be the earthly father of Jesus.

The fulfiller of the condition necessary for the Incarnation.

 "a righteous man" (Matthew 1:18).  

 

This man has a very special rank among the saints of the Kingdom of God, because he was so much a part of the very life of the Word of God made Man.

 

He helped raise the Savior of the world!

#worldsbestdadaward

 

For this, he deserves our very special veneration, love, and gratitude...

 

Also, because a long time ago in Sicily there was a really bad drought

 so the people prayed for the intercession of  St. Joseph and he saved their crops!

 

...which is why we give him a whole day of celebration!

 

So this brings up the question of the evening...."How do we celebrate the feast of St. Joseph?"

 

Well, what do we know about him... he was a pure, holy carpenter.
 "Is this not the carpenter's son?" (Matthew 13:55)

 

Wait...did you say PURE?

 Remind me, what's a widely known symbol for purity?

 A symbol that many depictions of St. Joseph have him holding?

 

...drumroll please...

 

THE LILY!

 

 

Oh, how I love lilies (so much that I have one permanently tatted on my foot)

 

In order to honor this venerable man, my friend gave me the brilliant

 idea of being a carpenter for the day and making something out of wood.

Unfortunately, I have no carpentry skills

*wah-wah-wah*

 

Instead, I decided to stretch the skill from

wood-carving to paper-folding

 *laugh*

 

I am making origami lilies for my friends and to decorate

 my room in honor the feast day of St. Joseph!

 

 

Other things you can do to celebrate this holy man (besides go to mass of course) include...

 

~Wear RED

I have a lovely new scarf a friend

gave me as a gift that I plan on rockin' all day tomorrow

~Pray a novena

I'd say St. Joseph is a pretty reliable source for getting the message to Jesus ;)

~Eat sweets!

(Or do whatever it is you gave up as a Lenten sacrifice;

after all, it is a FEAST day)

 

Any more ideas? Share the love!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~got ash?~

 

 

Growing up, my understanding of Ash Wednesday was that it was the day the priest puts a blob of black soot on my forehead that is supposedly intended to be in the shape of a cross.

 

Likewise, my understanding of Lent wasn't much more than 40 days without sweets, TV, or whatever mom decided we were "giving up" that year.

 

My mom did a good job of explaining why we choose to make a sacrifice in order to remember the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made for us at the end of the 40 days. But, although I would have never admitted it at the time, I saw lent as 40 days of torture before receiving a basket overflowing with candy and other goodies on Easter Sunday. I knew in my head what the purpose of Ash Wednesday and Lent were, but I didn't understand it in my heart...

 

...and it would be a while before that ever happened!

 

Eventually my understanding, or lack there of,  transitioned into a competition to see who could come up with the most creative sacrifice to give up for lent.....I remember giving up kissing my boyfriend one year while I was in high school. While this may be a good Lenten sacrifice in theory, it all comes down to your intentions....and my intentions were merely to prove to people how "brave" we were and how much self control we had. So basically, I just did it for the attention...

 

When I came to college, I discovered that my "good enough" understanding of Ash Wednesday and Lent was, believe it or not, actually rather shallow.  

 

I noticed how excited some people around the Catholic Neman center were getting as they anticipated the upcoming Lenten season...and it wasn't because they were excited to brag about their great ideas or how holy they were. It was because they wanted to enter into a season of penance, reflection, and fasting to prepare for Christ's Resurrection on Easter Sunday!

 

It's a time to dig down deep and truly remind ourselves why we are here, who we are living for, and ultimately, that we are SINNERS and one day we will die...sounds morbid right?

 

WRONG!

 

It's actually pretty awesome. Lent is a time to be humble and sacrificial by purging our souls of things that hold us back from having a deeper relationship with Christ. It's a time to prepare our hearts for our real home in heaven!

 

So wear your ashes proudly! And...

 

"Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return" Genesis 3:19

 

 

Need some good sacrifice ideas for lent?

 

-No Coffee

-No sleeping in

-No snacking between meals

-No lazy clothes days: dress up everyday!

-No unnecessary shopping: only sticking to the grocery list!

-No music in the car

-No make-up: only natural beauty

-No hot showers

-No condiments/seasoning with meals

 

Got some more ideas? Please share!

 

 

~a piece of my heart in africa~

I hope this finds you feeling happy and blessed as this beautiful new year settles in! I know I sure do, considering I had many amazing experiences in 2012. Recently, I finally got around to printing the nearly 600 photos I took during my time in Africa last summer. I could not help but smile and relive the memories as I flipped through the photos of joyful children. Seeing the photos and knowing this was an experience that would not have been possible without YOU inspired me to document my experience.

 

The adventure began in New York. We spent about 2 days at retreat house in Staten Island preparing for our mission and getting to know each other a little better before leaving for Togo, Africa.  We took-off energized and anxious for our nearly 14 hour plane ride to Lome, Togo, with a quick layover in Paris. We arrived exhausted, but so anxious that it didn’t matter. After we got our luggage, we met up with Fr. William Ryan, a priest from Arlington, Virginia who has been serving the people in Togo for the past 6 years, and whom we stayed with during our time in Africa. Fr. Ryan brought with him about 5 very excited Africans from the village we were headed to. They were so eager to help us with our luggage and very adamant about not letting us carry anything – Gentlemen to say the least!

Since it was nearly midnight when we arrived, we spent the first night at a convent/retreat house in Lome (the capitol of Togo). We slept two to a room, which consisted of a simple bed and mattress with mosquito nets, a shower, which was basically a spigot in the wall, and a sink. I remember not sleeping at all that night because of a mixture of being excited to be there, and from the ticking fan on the ceiling (Yes! There was electricity).  The plan was to wake up at 6 the next morning, go to mass, then breakfast, then hit the road! The village we would be spending the next month at was about a two hour drive away on a dirt road, far in both distance and in similarity from the “city” where we had just spent the night.

 

After packing up the Mercedes (Ha! We spent the entire month traveling from village to village sitting on rice bags in the bed of a giant military sized Mercedes with a white canopy as a roof) we began our bumpy, dusty journey to the village of Atchanve (aht-chon-vay), totally underestimating the excitement that was about to occur.

On the nearly two hour drive to Atchanve we stopped at a few villages along the way because EVERYONE had heard about our coming and had prepared some sort of welcome ceremony, whether it was dancing, singing, or gift giving (usually mangos, bananas, coconuts, and occasionally a chicken!)

 

 

If the dozens of children running out of the fields and chasing after us didn’t give it away, or the loud chanting of people ahead of us, maybe it was the large crowd of singing and dancing Africans that made it clear; we were home! Little did we know, the next hour or so following our arrival may have been one of the most exciting moments of our lives. I have never felt so much love and excitement in all my life. We were swarmed with hundreds of people all trying to hold our hands, our pants pockets, our sleeves…basically anything they could get a hold of! People were throwing confetti and flowers, singing, and dancing as they paraded us through the village to the rectory. There was a welcoming ceremony complete with dancing, speeches, and drinks (Fanta and then mint syrup diluted in water).  As a group, I cannot imagine a scenario in which we would have felt more welcome! Women were handing us their babies to hold and people were pulling us in to dance with them. Everyone wanted to shake our hands and let us know how thrilled they were that we were there. We were the first group of Yovo’s (white people!) to have ever been to their village! Besides Fr. Ryan, we were the first white people some of the villagers had ever seen…crazy, right?!

 

After the overwhelming welcome, we were shown to our accommodations, the rectory for the men, and the convent for the women.  Both buildings were completed within the past 6 years by Fr. Ryan, and are surprisingly American!  We had bathrooms, showers, and beds, and were all surprised by the comforts available to us.  The food was likewise a surprise, as we had many different soups, stews, and breads, and enjoyed them all.

After settling into our rooms, we were given a tour of Atchanvé, and got to see all of the works Fr. Ryan has been working on in the past 6 years.  We saw the water tower Fr. Ryan had built with money from donations, providing clean water for several villages, which also happens to be the largest water tower in all of Togo. This allowed for us to drink the water in the village without any risks of getting sick…a relief to say the least! We also toured the bakery, palm oil plant productions, solar panels, and schools.  The work Fr. Ryan has done here to improve their quality of life and provide economic opportunities for the villagers are amazing. All of which have been made possible by people like YOU who have donated and prayed and simply wanted to help.

We learned quickly that walking solo through the village was simply impossible due to the overwhelmingly (in a good way) amounts of children who would swarm us, grab our hands, and literally climb up us! How exhilarating it was to provide overwhelming amounts of excitement to the children just for being there! We couldn’t help but feel a little famous.

 

The first weekend there, we took an overnight trip into the mountains several hours north, to visit a German Priest who has been in Togo for 37 years.  He showed us churches in the area, took us to a nearby Benedictine monastery, and took us up the mountain for spectacular views of the Togo and Ghanaian country sides.  It was a great trip, and allowed us to see a good deal of the country and hear some great stories.

 

On Sunday, we attended Mass in a chapel in Atchanve.  It was quite the celebration, lasting nearly three hours, complete with plenty of singing and dancing. There was an additional party and celebration after Mass, where we were able to join in and learn some of their dances. It started off with us joining them in a circle and watching them share cultural dances in the center, but quickly lead to them pulling us in and making us attempt at imitating their dances in front of everyone….slightly embarrassing but incredible amounts of fun! We learned not to judge or make fun of each other’s dancing abilities because we knew that our time to shine would soon come and that we would look just as silly!

 

At this point in our journey, Atchanve was truly becoming home to us. We followed the routine every morning of getting up around 6:30 am, attending mass, then breakfast, and then a holy hour in the chapel before starting whatever work was to be done that day in the village. Each day it was something different. Some days we helped fix roads in Atchanve by loading up the big truck with rocks we collected by hand a little ways from the village and dumping them in the holes. We also helped clear space for where they are planning to build latrines and another space for where they plan on building a market place where they can sell and trade hand-made and home grown goods with other villages.

 

Clearing the space for a market was a fun experience because we used machetes to chop away at a highly vegetated area. The Africans found this hilarious because we were not nearly as efficient as they were at accomplishing this task. At no point during the mission did we do any physical labor FOR the Africans alone, but instead, we would do labor WITH the Africans, always working alongside them.  Multiple times, they proved their incredible sense of community and working together to accomplish tasks. Their culture is extremely driven to work together as a team and creating efficiency, while it seems that our culture tends to be more focused on individualism with a “my-way-or-the-highway” mindset.

 

An unexpected event that quickly became a usual occurrence was what I can only describe as the Yovo Travelling Circus. Every couple of years, Fr. Ryan uses some of the donated money to buy a “splurge item” for fun in the village. The first year he bought a popcorn machine. This was a big hit for the Africans, as they had never seen anything like it. The next year he bought an inflatable screen and a projector to have the occasional movie night in the village. His most recent splurge item was a…..wait for it….bounce house!

 

Oh the excitement! There are simply no words! Part of our mission became to travel around to the neighboring villages and share these luxuries with them. As if a group of 15 white people in a giant truck wasn’t a big enough scene in itself! When we would do this, we would start the event by playing a game of soccer against their village’s team. We learned quickly not only how seriously they take their soccer games, but also how extremely talented of soccer players they are! It was a joke how much skill they had on us. It definitely made for a fun game! After the soccer game we would set up the bounce house and the popcorn machine. The children lined up, we let about eight kids jump at a time, and then gave them a handful of popcorn after their bouncy experience. The first group to jump was always the most entertaining to watch because at first they were not really sure what to do…and then they’d go wild! At the end of the night, we would set up the projector and screen and show part of the movie “Jesus of Nazareth”. We would stop the movie about half way through and a couple of us would share with the village our personal testimonies (with the help of a translator) and the importance of having a relationship with our Savior! Every village we visited never failed to provide us with a warm welcome and leave us with incredible memories.

 

The most memorable visit to one of the villages was when we went to a village that has never been introduced to Christianity and is active in pagan traditions. One of the huts in their village was a shrine full of statues of their pagan gods where they would pray and make offerings. We visited on a rainy day to celebrate Mass and teach them about Christianity. We knew God’s hand was at work when their pagan shrine collapsed seconds before Mass began. First of all, their huts aren’t flimsy, little buildings. They are sturdy, solid structures made to last years. What are the chances of one, which happened to be a pagan shrine, collapsing when Christians were visiting the village for the first time, moments before Celebrating Mass and distributing the Holy Eucharist?!?! Call it a coincidence or maybe just crazy timing if you must, but I know that it was certainly an act of God!

Other regular things that we spent our time doing was putting on skits to teach the children about the Faith, helping to clear land for latrines at the local Catholic school, helping clear the graveyard of overgrowth during the weekly town cleanup, hauling more gravel to repair the road leading to the convent, and helping the Sisters and Fr. Ryan sort through donations and supplies at the convent and rectory. We would also organize soccer games with the smaller children, and attempt at learning how to speak words, prayers, and phrases in Ewe (ay-vay), the native language they mostly commonly speak. We visited the sick and brought them Holy Communion, witnessed the baptism of many children, helped the villagers harvest casaba and tiger nuts in the fields, and perhaps one of my favorite things, said rosaries in the chapel with the children in three different languages! We would say the first decade in English, and then they would say one in French, and then one in Ewe. It was beautiful to hear so many little voices saying the same thing we were, only in a different language.

 

Speaking of language, we thought this was going to be a huge barrier while we were there. Although two people in our group could speak fluent French, we had no idea how we were going to be able to teach them about God’s love if they couldn’t understand us. Quite possibly one of the most amazing things about the trip was realizing the truth behind the phrase (supposedly said by St. Francis of Assisi) “Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary, use words”. We were amazed at how little of conversation needed to occur in order for us to share God’s love. And of course this is true!

God's Love in UNIVERSAL!

 

 Packing up and leaving Atchanve was difficult knowing that I will most likely never see the people I met ever again. As we drove away, the children and adults were running after us and waving. One little boy whom I had spent a great deal of time with actually decided to stay in his home instead of saying goodbye because he was mad that we were leaving! I don’t know if we left a greater impact on them or them on us, regardless, I will always remember and pray for the people in Atchanve.

 

And I will say again and probably not that last time, THANK YOU! Know that I am constantly praying for YOU as well. Please continue in your generous ways and never underestimate the POWER of God’s LOVE! Don’t get caught up in the business of this first world country. Rejoice in simplicity and realize that the only thing you NEED is God’s never-ending love. The people in the tiny villages of Africa literally own no material goods, but they are the most joyful, appreciative, and giving people I have ever met. Free yourself of dependency on material goods and become only dependent on Christ and the sacraments!

May the Love of Christ always be with you and overflow onto others!